Fictional Characters I Would Totally Fuck – Part 3: Loki Laufeyson

When I’m not fantasizing about smoking hot vampires (which I do a lot) or sexy British librarians (ditto), I like to focus my wanton attentions on the Marvel Universe. I enjoyed reading the comics as a kid and idolized Stan Lee’s superhero creations, but as an adult, I’ve come to realize, especially after watching the wonderful series of films about the various Avengers, that there is an absolute smorgasbord of fuckable characters in the Marvel Universe. Throughout the month of February, I’ll be talking about many of them – Iron Man, Thor, Captain America, and Wolverine – all fuckable. But this post is devoted to one of my favorite villains from the Marvel Universe.

February 3: Loki Laufeyson

Some of you may be saying, “Loki? Why would you find Loki attractive?” To which I would reply, after the collective din of fangirls around the world screaming “Duh!” stops echoing in space, “You must be feeble minded.”

Green-Eyed-Loki

Duh!

Loki is an Asgardian Prince, the God of Mischief, and the adopted son of Odin and Frigga. The fact that Loki plots revenge against his family, in part due to his MAJOR daddy issues, and wishes to usurp the throne of Asgard from his super-sexy brother, Thor, tells me that he has an interesting story to tell. He is Hellbent on world domination and will stop at nothing to get what he wants. This human-sized frost giant, although not born of Asgard, still has comparable superhuman strength, agility, speed, longevity, and stamina, which allows him to successfully outwit and outmaneuver the various Avengers, S.H.I.E.L.D., and the omniscient Guardian of Worlds, Heimdall.

Loki-and-Stark

They should totally kiss and make up.

Loki is a sorcerer and master of illusion, with the ability to control the minds of lesser beings (humans in particular), allowing him to create copies of himself, make himself and others invisible, and appear to be other people. His greatest strengths are manipulation and deception. He likes controlling others and would have enslaved the entire population of Earth if Thor and the Avengers didn’t stop him.

Kneel

Note to self: Buy knee pads.

He is highly intelligent, obviously well-organized to pull off some of the schemes he concocts, and shows little remorse if he has to kill people who stand in his way. With the exception of Thor and his mother Frigga, the two people he cares the most about, Loki shows little more than morbid curiosity and desire for power when it comes to his interactions with other Asgardians, humans, and other alien cultures. And what he feels for Odin is an unquenchable passion for patricide. Loki loves Frigga, and at the very least, respects Thor when he isn’t envying his status in Asgard. When Thor falls in love with Jane Foster, Loki taunts him for being weak and chastises him for allowing his emotions for a human woman to cloud his judgment. Loki has no love interest that we’re made aware of, and since he devotes all of his time and energy to destroying worlds and stealing Thor’s place on the Asgardian throne, he really doesn’t have much time for romantic relationships. And his use of…colorful language when talking to the ladies, might hinder his attempts at finding a female companion.

Quim

Arcane profanity can easily be mistaken as an awkward attempt to get in your panties.

And, we get a glimpse of what turns him on when Jane Foster punches him in the face and his reaction is to smile lewdly and say to Thor, (as if Jane isn’t still standing there), “I like her.”

Because Loki is obsessed with domination, lives to control others, uses vulgarities when speaking to women, looks great in bondage gear, and apparently enjoys being hit by ladies, many fangirls and boys have jumped to the conclusion that he probably has some rather kinky fetishes…or at the very least, inspires our imaginations.

Still uncertain about what makes this character so appealing? Well, for starters, he’s played by Tom Hiddleston, who is NEVER not sexy, and has been cast as some other fictional characters that will blow your mind.

Here he is as Sir Thomas Sharpe the sexy serial killer in Guillermo Del Toro’s Gothic Horror film, Crimson Peak.

Thomas-Sharpe

Oh. My. Goth!

He also plays Adam, in Jim Jarmusch’s film, Only Lovers Left Alive, which shows a unique view of life as a vampire.

Adam

Eat that bloodsicle!

And here’s Tom just being his adorable self.

And once again as Loki…arguing with children.

Seriously, that is effing adorable.

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4 thoughts on “Fictional Characters I Would Totally Fuck – Part 3: Loki Laufeyson

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